Bert JW Regeer (畢傑龍)

Printer Setup

So, I set up a printer I had gotten from my dad today, I was expecting a fight, I had prepared for a fight...

I had received this printer after Thanksgiving since my dad wanted it no more. He gave me a D-Link DP-301U and a HP LaserJet 3200, a USB printer, and a USB network print server. Now, as almost any sane person knows printers are some of the most fickle beasts on this planet, and taming them is a task that no mere man is prepared for.

How many hours did you waste trying to stop a printer from printing some document, only to have to go to the emergency room because you needed stitches for the gash on your forehead?

I am fairly sure that with the amount of time and productivity lost to dealing with printers we could have solved world hunger, or at least cured cancer.

So after putting off this printer installation for many a month, for fear that I would end up losing all my hair as I pulled my hairs out one by one, I needed to print something, I had to finally cave.

I plugged in the printer, and I heard it whirl to life, the sounds instantly causing PTSD flashbacks to the many printers I have had the displeasure of turning on. I plugged the printer into the print server, plugged the print server in, and found myself silently praying, not merely praying but also slowly and surely rocking myself back and forth as if trying to calm myself.

After opening System Preferences, and adding the printer, selecting that it is a LaserJet, it said it had successfully added the printer. It has always seemed so deceptively simple, a couple of clicks and bam it should work. Surprisingly no drivers needed to be downloaded, no hundreds of megs worth of extra crappy software installed, could it be this simple?

I opened the file I wanted to print and started preparing for the worst. I had my hand on the paper tray, knowing that if it goes wrong this printer will go through 500 pages attempting to print pages of garbage, I hit print and immediately moved my hand to the power button, as an even better last resort. I tried to push the memory of older printers and how they had wronged me out of my mind as I got another flashback as the printer started spooling up, readying itself to print.

What happens next is somewhat of a miracle, the printer spat out my document, a perfect reproduction on paper. It didn't attempt print hundreds of pages of random characters and garbage, it didn't eat the pages and jam, it didn't start beeping at me because of the wrong printer drivers, my fears were unfounded.

Today is a great day, it is the day that I can start rebuilding my faith in printers, no longer afraid, no longer needing to worry about stitches, or that it really hurts to rip hair from my head. Today the printer gods smiled on me, and I smiled back.